Rockwell Colt

The birth story for Rockwell really starts at my 32 week appointment in November. After having normal blood pressure my entire pregnancy it was suddenly high. I should have written them down but it was 158 over 90 something that time. I laid there in the office on my left side to see if it would go down and after two more readings it got into the 130's. So better but still high. Repeat this whole process every single appointment after that. At my 37 week appointment my doctor started getting concerned with it not going down and a consistent mild-medium headache I had for the past week. The conclusion was if my blood pressure was still high the following week he most likely would have me induced but if not, we made official plans to be induced on December 27th when I was 39 weeks. Knowing that I could potentially be induced at 38 weeks, Jonathan and I spent the night before my appointment getting things ready like cleaning the house, pulling out the carseat, finishing packing the hospital bag and snuggling Bentley to sleep after letting her stay up way too late. That day I even had Sarah color my hair again. Sure enough the next morning on December 19th I went to my appointment and my blood pressure was high but this time it wasn't going down with rest. So my doctor called the hospital and I called Jonathan asking if he wanted to have a baby today! Jonathan came home from work right away, Kira kept Bentley for us, I ate some food and off to the hospital we went. Here comes baby boy!

38 weeks, 1 day
12/19/2018

My body was telling us it was time to be done with this pregnancy but baby boy was not. Meaning my blood pressure was high but I was only dilated to a 1 at my appointment a couple hours earlier. We got to the hospital around 2pm and by around 3:30pm we were all checked in and I was hooked up to my IV with pitocin starting at a 4. In the meantime I was having contractions and apparently they did something because at this point I was at a 2. The plan was to just keep increasing the pitocin throughout the evening and my doctor would head over after work and break my water. I hadn't got the epidural yet, I was hesitant with how my body hadn't progressed much at this point and luckily the contractions were fine. Uncomfortable during but that was it. At 6pm my doctor shows up and breaks my water and at this point I was pushing a 3. Almost immediately after the contractions on pitocin in combination with my water broken hurt so bad! With Bentley my water broke before I had any contractions so this was new. But again knowing I was barely a 3 and the pain went away in between contractions, I felt fine waiting for the epidural. But that didn't last long! Around 7:15pm I asked for the epidural but the anesthesiologist was on call and had to get to the hospital so it wasn't until 8pm that he showed up. 8:20pm I am feeling right as rain! I seriously love epidurals. Also at this point I was at a 4. My nurse told me to let her know if I feel light headed, dizzy or nauseous because sometimes epidurals cause that but I wasn't worried. But about 2 minutes after she left I had to call her back in because sure enough I got all of the above. My blood pressure had dropped to a normal range from my high blood pressure I was induced for. Nurse comes in and hooks some medicine up to my IV and says it should fix it in about 5-10 minutes. Instead of that it actually got worse. I currently am telling Jonathan exactly what I am feeling because I know that I am going to pass out at any point and then if I do he will know exactly what is going on hahaha. Nurse comes back in because she sees my blood pressure has tanked low! Like in the 90's which for my body was crazy. I want to say it was about an hour total of them switching medicines that I was feeling completely better. By 10pm Jonathan and I were comfortable and actually getting some rest which we didn't get at all with Bentley's labor. I was exhausted pushing Bentley out which I am sure that is what made it 3+ hours so this rest was a high priority for me. So that is what we did. Christmas Vacation on the TV
and sleeping. 12:45am I was finally at a 5. Hot damn this is taking a long time! Long as in 2 hours or so to progress 1cm. But I was totally okay with it because my body is doing what it needs to, baby is doing just fine this entire time and I am actually really comfortable. My body and babies just take their sweet time and I am 100% okay with that.

After epidural, before blood pressure drop

At this point I have been using the giant peanut shaped ball in between my legs and switching sides every 30-45 minutes. I knew I got a good epidural when I can't feel the contraction pain but can easily move my body myself to switch back and forth. I really am just bored now because Jonathan is sleeping, it is the middle of the night so no one is awake to talk to and my show kept pausing and shutting down. I finally fell asleep at some point (and this is when the time gets kind of blurry but I believe it was close to 3am) and woke up to intense pressure with each contraction. I remembered this exact pressure with Bentley's labor and was highly discouraged because I knew how slow I was progressing and that if this was starting so soon (at a 5 maybe a 6 dilation) I was going to be miserable for hours and hours. The only thing that gave me hope was that when the contraction was done, I felt immediate relief until the next one which again with Bentley's labor didn't happen. It was consistent pressure/back labor for hours until she was out of me. However, my contractions were much closer together now so there wasn't much time for said relief. With the peanut ball between my legs and facing away from Jonathan I couldn't get his attention, mostly because he was in a deep sleep haha. I kept calling his name over and over and nothing. I needed his hands to crush each contraction. In the 5-10 minutes I was trying to get his attention, the pressure had just gotten muuuuch worse. I am now roaring through this contractions because it helps right? Jonathan wakes up to that and the nurse comes in because apparently she heard it as well hahaha. I'm not even ashamed. My nurse checks me and I am at an 8! Things are moving a little faster now! I haven't pushed the epidural button because I know that it doesn't help with the pressure from my experience with Bentley. My nurse says she doesn't think that I should be in this much pain each time so she calls down the anesthesiologist and he gets me sat up so the epidural goes down (duh Shannon, it works with gravity. I know that) and that helps just take the edge off. Then he gives me a nice shot of something in my IV. It is a stronger drug but it doesn't last long, like only an hour. They gave me this just so I could relax even slightly to get my breathing under control so I could focus on pushing right which I totally get. I was way caught off guard with this pressure. If you have had a baby you know the pressure I am talking about. If you haven't just imagine pooping out a baby. Seriously. And with each contraction is the automatic urge to push which is helpful when you are fully dilated, I was not though. Well I thought I wasn't. It had to have been close to 4am now when I was checked again and I was at a 10 and 100% effaced. WHAT. It took me 11 hours to get to a 6 but an hour and a half to do the last 4cm! Whatever, I am stoked. I am almost done and by almost done I mean I have at least an hour of pushing to do. I mean with Bentley it was 3 so this one will still be a while. The nurse has me do the normal practice push before she calls the doctor and half way through says "STOP" because he is coming quick. She calls the doctor and he shows up about 4:15am but meanwhile I am clenching shut with my nurse telling me she has caught a couple babies in her time and I will be just fine. My doctor shows up around 4:15am and once he is set up I push 2 times and half way on the third our sweet baby boy is here! 4:23am. WHAT. That was minutes, if that! I can't even believe it. That I pushed him out so fast and that this boy we had been longing for was in my arms.

12/20/2018
4:23am
7lbs 6oz
19 inches

The staff knew I wanted to do skin to skin immediately and so he was placed on my chest right away. But literally 30 seconds later a nurse comes over and takes him because she said he wasn't crying enough. We felt like we was crying plenty but I am no medical professional. Anyway she takes him away from me and it seems like forever that she has him. I look over and she is weighing him, measuring him and getting him dressed and all swaddled up! She brings him back to me and I said "Uhhh no, I want to do skin to skin". She gets him down just to his diaper and beanie and brings him back to me. It sounds silly but I am already a little heartbroken that those minutes were taken away from me when I could have been holding him this whole time because her getting him to cry more was just doing her part of the delivery process so she could move on. That moment you just don't get back. But he is fine and now I have him so I move on. After that the rest of the time in that room with just us 3 was so wonderful. It was quiet and peaceful. He latched and breastfed right away with little assistance which was so opposite of Bentley. Of course the time came and went so fast and soon enough the nurse is telling us that at 6:15am that baby has to go to the nursery to get his tests/vaccine/etc. because that is where they do it. This is also different to me (and rubbing me the wrong way) because I delivered at Riverton Hospital last time and they did everything to keep Bentley with me especially on my chest. Everything they did to her I was within arms reach. But not here. I told Jonathan to go with him while I waited until 6:30am to be taken to my recovery room. I was told when they left they would be 15-20 minutes. I get to my room and my nurse isn't there so I am just waiting. I didn't need her until I felt that my recovery bed is super wet. It turns out I am bleeding A LOT. From the time I was in the delivery room to now I have completely bled through. I know I need the nurse to help me get up for the first time so I call the nurse's station to call my nurse to my room right now. Meanwhile Jonathan is texting me from the nursery telling me two things: One that baby's blood sugar is slightly low and he is breathing really fast. When he was born he was making cute little noises every time he breathed but it turns out they thought there was a little bit of fluid left in his lungs but they haven't been able to get him cry since to get him to get that out. He is also telling me that they are going to give him a bottle of formula to get his blood sugar up. I am overwhelmed and confused and frustrated at this point as I am bleeding but stuck in my bed with no nurse to be seen and my son is in the nursery having things done to him that I don't have a say in. My nurse finally shows up to my room close to an hour after she should have been. Jonathan tells me she was in the nursery with them but with a bunch of other nurses and a pediatrician so I still don't understand why she couldn't have come to help me. But she is here now and starts helping me get this figured out. I am bleeding giant clots at this point and getting more pale and lightheaded each minute. My blood pressure drops again because of the blood loss and I am given medicine to slow the bleeding down with a shot in my thigh. The pediatrician comes in to let me know what was going on with him and tells me that his breathing is normal now and instead of giving him a bottle they put some sugar stuff on his cheeks to help it go up because with his breathing so fast they were afraid he would choke. He continues to tell me that bottles will be better than breastfeeding him to help that. As he is leaving my baby finally comes to the room. This was after 8:15am. He was gone for two hours! Opposite of what the pediatrician says, the lactation specialist says to just nurse him. And my nurse just says before each feeding call her so she can take his blood sugar level. They take it right before eating to see how he is maintaining it. Now things have settled down a bit and my mom is there visiting. I start bleeding a lot again so I am giving another dose of medicine and now have a catheter placed to empty my bladder because that helps with the bleeding. So I am somewhat stuck in my bed but that is okay for now, I don't have anywhere to go. Jonathan's mom also comes to visit and life is good for a bit. My mom came back and brought Bentley to visit and she of course didn't like the baby but unexpectedly didn't want to see me at all and I was so sad. But in her defense I was hooked up to a bunch of machines and it probably looked scary which I get.

Jonathan sending me pictures from the nursery

One happy family! 

Grandma Elaine

In recovery by myself, before bleeding out

At this point I am just really frustrated with how the morning went once they went to the nursery and I came to recovery for a few reasons. The nurse was all over the place, my baby was away from me all morning, I didn't get the immediate skin to skin, things like that. It was just a chaotic morning and things were nothing like how I assumed or expected them to be but finally things are settling down where visitors are leaving and we can get some rest. I really am aching to hold my baby and since I am laying completely flat to help the bleeding my mom comes and tucks him into my gown and for 2 minutes I get to hold him. After that the nurse is back taking him to the nursery to check is blood sugar. WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT RIGHT HERE? It is a foot poke! I should be able to hold him while you do this. His blood sugar was just below where it should be so they bring him back and the only thing we are told is that they will keep checking it. That is it. My biggest problem at this point is that there is one very common and proved way to help regulate blood sugar (and breathing!) in babies. Skin to skin. But they keep taking him away and out of the room any time I get a chance to do it including right after delivery. He was just borderline with his levels and I am POSITIVE that if they would have just let him lay on me instead of have him in the nursery it would have regulated on it's own. At least in those early hours after delivery. We get a little time to ourselves before the nurse is back in ready to check him again but this time she does it right in our room. WTF. I am out of words. I have no idea what this nurse or hospital is up to. His blood sugar is still low so she tells us that if they check it again and it's low he has to be admitted to the NICU. UM WHAT. We weren't told that this was ever on the radar with him. We were only told they will continue checking his levels. We now try to give him just a straight bottle to get it up but he is so tired and isn't interested in the bottle. She takes him AGAIN to the nursery to be evaluated by the next level up and to call the doctor. The nurse comes back in to tell us he is being admitted to the NICU and time seemed to stand still. How did it suddenly escalate to this point? I am crying and we start telling this nurse about everything wrong with this day and how things were handled since the minute he was born but mostly since we have been in recovery. How we were told 3 different things from 3 different people, how he was separated from us most the day, how we should have been told together after his first stay in the nursery what the plan was going to be and what might happen plus many other things. We were so caught off guard we didn't even know what to think. But it was happening. He was going to the NICU just 12 hours after being born. After she left we both just cried and cried. We felt like we had no time with him so far (which we didn't) and couldn't do anything about it. The head NICU nurse came down with him and he had his IV in already and was ready to be hooked up. Heart freakin' broken.

To be clear, I am not doubting that he had a blood sugar issue. I am not doubting that it got to the point where he needed to be in the NICU for care. I just really think that through other, more simple ways it could have been fixed and what they kept doing wasn't really necessary. I felt that the nurse was overwhelmed with the mom and baby needed a lot of extra care and she should have called in for another nurse for help. I feel like the labor and delivery floor in general could use some help or different focus.

Being admitted. This picture breaks
my heart to pieces.

 We walked with the head nurse as she walked us through why he was going to the NICU and answered questions we had. Like how long was he going to be here? I was hoping for just a couple hours, I have heard of babies just needing a quick stay. But it seemed like it would be 48 hours minimum and that seemed like an eternity. Walking into the NICU was all kinds of overwhelming. It was so quiet. It smelt sterile. We walk into his room and they start hooking him up to a giant bed with so many cords and monitors. There are three nurses and the NICU doctor surrounding him and we sat there and watched. The team however was so nice and gave us very clear expectations for his stay. Plan of care, what results we needed to see and potential discharge timeframe. I looked at Jonathan a few times in the midst of this and we are both borderline crying again. As we asked questions we are both holding back tears. The team can tell and are being very sensitive and nice which I appreciate. Things settle down and I look over and see another baby room-sharing with him. But this baby was in a full isolette hooked up to even more things and under billi lights. Cue more tears.

The plan was to feed him and in three hours test his blood sugar and if it is below 50 (higher than the 45 he needed throughout the day) than he will go on a sugar IV for at least 24 hours. If not than it just needs to stay high on its own for the next day. It was 55 when he was admitted. I nursed him and then held him forever just crying. I know it sounds silly because of course he is ok! No matter what this won't be long, some of these babies are here for months. It was just the realization that I had held him for maybe 2 hours total all day and now he is here and I feel like I didn't even get a chance to know him yet. It was new, unexpected and scary. We were supposed to be in our room with our family visiting us and the next morning we would be discharged and be home for the holidays. But those plans changed so fast it was hard to grasp. Plus those postpartum hormones are no joke. Three hours later his blood sugar is tested and it is 41. More tears on my part. Time to get hooked up to the IV. Because this was his only issue he was able to move to a different room where he was just in a normal crib. I can't remember what they called his room but it was for babies that won't be here long and that made me feel a little better even though I already knew that. It was a little less scary looking. The sweet nurse got him into some cozy jammies and gave him a little sponge bath. That is when we noticed his blonde hair! Oh my precious thing. Now he was all settled in and the 24 hours starts now. He will be tested before each feed (every 3 hours) and if it is above 50 and then eats well, they will drop the IV amount and slowly wean him off. Once he is off he has to hold his own level for at least 24 hours. His first night shift nurse was the same nurse that took him off my chest and got him all dressed right after he was born. This gave me more anxiety about the NICU and him being there. She really was nice but I just wanted to blame her for us being here in the first place! Which is probably irrational but I just had a baby, I am allowed to be, right? We took the advice of all the NICU staff and went at slept through the night instead of going over there every feeding. Not that we slept great but we did feel much better the next morning.

Grandma Karey

Friday consisted of spending most the day in the NICU or back in the room for pumping and my vital checks since I was still a patient there. I could have been discharged but wanted to a place in the hospital as long as I could. Every time it was time to go back to the NICU I would get so much anxiety. Walking in I was always thinking about how he did while we were gone and what the test results were going to be and if he was actually going to eat this time. But every time they tested his blood sugar it was in the 60's or 70's which was a huge improvement and he started eating more each time without much help. I started feeling much better! Until his 4pm feeding when we came back to see him and he was under lights for jaundice. I didn't think anything of it because so many babies need lights but now his billi levels had to be in a good range to be discharged to. Once you are admitted to the NICU, everything has to be perfect or else you won't be discharged even though the same problems for a baby in normal recovery can be discharged with problems but just need follow up appointments. Also since he was on lights, he can't be held very much anymore and that hurt bad. That night Jonathan got out of the hospital and went to see Bentley and I stayed back at the hospital since I couldn't leave yet. I ordered dinner, filled out paperwork and tried to watch a movie but I was pretty distracted with everything going on. Jonathan Facetimed me once he was with Bentley and it was so good to see her! She was having so much fun with her grandparents and I read her a book (memorized it because we have read it so much) and then Jonathan sent me a Marco Polo after he left and was crying. Bentley was sad when Jonathan was leaving again and he lost it. Some of the hardest parts of this was having our family separated but we are so grateful to our family who watched Bentley and made sure she was well taken care of and loved!

He looks so much bigger than he was.
He was below 7lbs at this point!

Up until mid Friday we didn't have a name for this little baby of ours. Back in October of 2017 when we found out we were pregnant we had a boy and a girl name picked out already (Rockwell being the boy name). And kept those names the two times we got pregnant after that, including this one. Sometime during the this pregnancy Jonathan threw the name Colt into the mix. Although I liked the name, I didn't like how it meshed with some other family and friends names plus our last name so I didn't even consider it. Until end of November into December I started really liking the name Colt! I hated that I did because we are so close to having this baby and now I can't decide. So he was Baby Boy Nay on all his medical records and bills because we didn't name him immediately. Mid-Friday his HR guy at work needed his name to add him onto the insurance and Jonathan says, "It's here, we have to name him now!" I tell him he has to name him because I still like Rockwell the most but don't want to take Jonathan's name away, he probably will resent me forever. Jonathan said he didn't care enough to fight for Colt to be his name so Rockwell Colt it is. Although if we ever have another boy, his name might be Colt and we will change Rockwell's middle name haha. Jonathan just didn't want to risk not using it anywhere. The only hang up Jonathan has with Rockwell is people calling him Rocky. So don't call him Rocky and make my life easier. k thanks.

Friday to Saturday we slept through the night again and let the nurses do his feedings. We figured we might as well take advantage. Saturday morning we found out he was taken off his IV completely and kept his blood sugar in the 60's which was awesome! However he is still on the billi lights. We had the same nurse both Friday and again Saturday which really was such a blessing for multiple reasons. Her name was Amy and she listened to everything we had to say and when she knew we really wanted him to be home with us for Christmas she gave us the honest truth and a plan to have that happen. On Friday she told us that I could breastfeed him each feeding but since my milk hadn't come in he is using a lot of his energy and not getting much so there was very little change he would be discharged in that time frame. So with that we made a plan to just bottle feed him and anything I pumped they would store for me and we would feed him that first and then formula. When he wasn't eating well Friday morning she showed us a few tricks to get him to stay awake to eat and it worked every time! To have her again Saturday to make sure we were on track to be discharged by Sunday was a relief to us. We didn't have to try to convince each nurse what that plan was. In fact she made sure to tell the night nurse and the charge nurse what our plan was so they knew what milestones he needed to reach every three hours. Saturday she gave us the news that Rockwell needed to be off the lights by that evening in order to be discharged Sunday because he needs to now keep those levels up on his own without the lights. This added more stress. They were going to test his levels that afternoon and if they were lower they would turn off the lights, if not he is on them until Sunday at least. In the meantime I needed to get out of the hospital. My room faced a brick wall with a roof overhang so I hadn't seen the sun since Wednesday! I missed Bentley so much it hurt. I was supposed to be discharged around 10am. We waited and waited. I was so frustrated at this point because of my whole experience with the hospital but also the added feelings of just the situation as a whole. I just knew I needed to get out for just a minute. I was in the NICU with Rockwell and my dad and got a call from Jonathan saying my doctor was finally there to check me off and I yelled "KEEP HIM THERE!" and booked it to my room because I wasn't waiting any longer. We got checked out and went to Jonathan's parents to see Bentley. She didn't care to see me but she was playing and having fun. She was getting grumpy and tired so I went to pick her up and go cuddle her for a nap. She lost her mind! She was reaching for anyone but me. I took her up to a room thinking she would calm down but she didn't. She was screaming for Jonathan, wouldn't look at me or sit with me. Cue every single tear I have ever had. Jonathan came up and got her calmed down and I sat there crying my eyes out. I was so excited to see her and I missed her so much and she didn't want me at all, in fact I was making her so upset. That was a different kind of heartbreak than I have ever felt. Here I laid on the bed with my daughter not wanting me and my son at the hospital and the only thing I seemed to know what to do is cry. She fell asleep so I just let her be and we went back to the hospital. We headed to the NICU to do some discharge stuff on our part in hopes tomorrow would be the day. They took the test at his 4pm feeding (24 hours after being on the lights) and we waited and waited for the phone call with the results. The NICU closed for two hours everyday for shift changes so we couldn't be physically there.

That evening my mom was putting on her family Christmas party and Jonathan thought it was a good idea for me to go see my family and bring Bentley with and try again. I agreed. My in-laws met me at my house and helped me get loaded up to head to the party. It was really nice to get out and talk and feel normal for just a couple hours! However the results for his jaundice level was taking way longer than expected. I just kept checking my phone seeing if Jonathan text me with the results but nothing. Finally around 7:45pm he text me saying, "His levels dropped and he pooped a ton!!!!" (Pooping is a great sign for his levels dropping, clearing out his system haha) More tears of course! Who knew I had so many tears. I cried a lot over these days including just sitting in my room at night not being able to do anything. So this news of the hopeful chance he will come home tomorrow was amazing! My parents took Bentley home with them and we went back to the hospital to do his last feeding and then actually went home to sleep even though they gave us a free stay-in room. Before we left his nurse (who was the nurse who initially took him into the NICU) told us not to stress or worry, that everything will be okay and just was so apologetic that he even had to be in the NICU in the first place. We talked about why this was so hard for us when we knew he was okay and this was so temporary. It was because it was unexpected. He is full term and you don't plan on your full term baby going to the NICU and not being able to be with them all the time. With that being said I know how blessed we were with just a few day stay compared to months. In fact, during this time we had two close friends were finally adopting their two babies they have waited for but they were born early. So they spent weeks over Christmas 4 hours from home and family being with their twin boys. With that perspective alone, I know we had it so easy!

After Jonathan text me the good news, he sent me this picture.
"I gave him his first fohawk!" He was so proud.

 We went home and had a great nights sleep. I woke up in on my own around 4am and pumped because I was pretty sure I was going to pop if I didn't. I also started coming down with a cold. Great, that is all I need right now! We headed back to the hospital the next morning but took our time because the nurse told us if he is discharged it won't be until at least noon. The NICU doctor takes care of all sick babies first and then discharges and with how slow my own discharge was I was planning for later. We got there close to 10am and walking into the NICU was the most stressful one of all. We had yet to know if he was actually going to be discharged even though we left the carseat for them to do his test and the nurse was preparing us for it. No one could give us a straight answer, probably because anything could go wrong. We walk in and no nurse was there, it was dark and quiet. But on the desk were discharge papers!! YAY HE IS COMING HOME! We snuggled him then packed up our room while waiting for the doctor to actually come discharge us. Somehow these last three days have felt like an entire month. But now we are going home and before Christmas at that. We felt so happy. It seemed that the hardship and frustration about everything was immediately gone and I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to be home with my family. Goodbye Jordan Valley hospital. Goodbye NICU. Goodbye millions of heel pokes and hand washings. Goodbye wires, IV and machines beeping. We won't miss you.

He really is the Top Dad!

Jonathan had to snap a picture of this picture from the hallway from L&D to the NICU.
It gave us the creeps every time we passed it. 

Then we were home! He slept and we were so full of energy. We unpacked everything and got the house clean. Got laundry going. Bentley was dropped off by my mom and she had also gotten sick unfortunately. She didn't handle the transition very well the first few days and that could be because she got sick or that she had been handed off from person to person the last 4 days. Jonathan got sick shortly after me and after spending the holidays with our families I am not sure there was one person who wasn't sick or had been sick recently. It was brutal! And of course despite our best efforts Rockwell also got sick. We spent Jonathan's paternity leave all being sick at some point which was a bummer. Rockwell is so similar yet so different than Bentley. The faces he makes and things he does remind me so much of her as a newborn but his sleeping, need to be held and help to go to sleep is so different! Although it has been harder, I really do love that he is different and needs his parents. Bentley was fairly independent right out of the gate, enough that she wouldn't breastfeed. I questioned so much whether she even needed me, which I know is silly. But there is no doubt that this little boy needs his mom. To eat, to sleep, to calm down, to relax. It has made for some special moments that I'll cherish forever! 

Rockwell's cousin Jim, 6 days older with their dads

Is this not the best?

Bentley's feelings on waiting on
 us to take care of Rockwell

It's silly to say how much we love him because obviously we do but there was something special about getting him here and now having him here. It has been hard but we would do it again for him. Looking back at the hospital and NICU stay it doesn't seem as irritating but I know in the moment it was and I really want to remember it for me. With it came a lot of special and personal moments for Jonathan and I. Looking back now after getting to know Rockwell, I think he needed the pit stop between heaven and earth, which is exactly what the NICU is. There is no doubt there are angels among those babies, parents and nurses. I feel humbled to have been apart of it. We are so grateful and so in love with our little guy and can't wait to watch him grow while also wanting him to stay a baby forever. Welcome to the world Rockwell, we hope you know what you signed up for. We are a lot to handle!

Those skinny legs!! (Just like Jonathan)

That soft, blonde, whispy hair!!